Tiger Woods to Battle Roger Federer in Most Boring In Victory Competition

NEW YORK, Aug 23 – In what is being considered the greatest cross-sports competition ever, Tiger Woods will face off against Roger Federer to find out once and for all who is the most boring champion in sports.

Woods, the 12 time grand slam champion in golf, has consistantly been referred to as a “machine” when it comes to playing on Sundays, with the only excitement being whether there will be a design on his traditional Sunday red shirt.

Federer, an 8 time grand slam champion in tennis, emulates a robot throughout entire tournaments and usually does not show any emotion until the fake look of satisfaction on his face once he conqures the field.

The specific competition has yet to be announced, but audiences are gearing up for a battle. “He almost takes the fun out of it,” says Woods competitor Phil Mickelson. “Did you see that 2 inch jump I had at the Masters? That is what victory should look like. Tiger could learn a thing or two from me, but unfortunately, all he does is hit more balls on the range.”

Federer seems to bring out similar reactions from his opponents. “He crushed me at Wimbledon a few years ago and didn’t know what to do after. He kind of stumbled to the ground, but I think it’s because his coach told him to,” said Andy Roddick in reference to his loss to Federer in the 2005 final.

Both men seem equally excited about the opportunity. When asked what it would be like to win, Woods repsonded by saying, “it would be sweet.” The same question was presented to Federer and he simply responded with “yes, it would be good to win.”


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