Pats Defeat Winless Dolphins, Awarded Super Bowl

Tom Brady threw six touchdown passes, including five in the first half, to lead the New England Patriots to a 49-28 victory over the now 0-7 Miami Dolphins. With the win, New England moved to 7-0 and was awarded this year’s Super Bowl by Commissioner Roger Goddell.

“Frankly, by defeating winless Miami, one-win New York and two-win Buffalo, there was no way that we could definitively say that New England was going to lose this year. With that said, we decided to cancel the rest of the season and simply award the New England Patriots with this year’s Super Bowl,” said Goddell from Miami yesterday.

The Super Bowl is the most heavily watched sporting event in the world and many wondered how Goddell could simply dismiss this year’s game. That’s when the Commissioner showed everyone why he is in the position he is.

“Instead of having New England against a team they will clearly beat, why not just have a split squad game?” said the Commissioner during the New England post-game press conference. “If they are truly the best team, why have anyone else even play the game?”

With yesterday’s win New England is now 7-0 with their opponents owning an impressive 17-28 record combined (11-27 without the Dallas win). Quarterback Tom Brady is having an MVP season and many are attributing the Patriots’ success as a reaction to the backlash the Patriots received for getting caught cheating. No, not when Rodney Harrison admitted using HGH and received a four game ban this year. No, not when Vince Wolfork was fined $5,000 for a late hit against the Dallas Cowboys. It is for when Belichick was caught by his former Defensive Coordinator video taping signals of defensive coaches and was fined $500,000 by the league and costing the team their first round draft pick next year.

Just remember, cheaters never win…except in the NFL apparently.

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2 Responses to “Pats Defeat Winless Dolphins, Awarded Super Bowl”

  1. Welcome to Titletown, USA Says:

    Sounds like a bitter fan with no teams to cheer for. Go Knicks? You may be forgetting that the Pats ran away from the undefeated Cowboys and made them look silly in the second half. Sure, time will tell with a schedule that puts them up against Indy, Pittsburgh, Baltimore, and Big Blue. However, if they keep playing as they have been, they present other teams with a very difficult task, who to cover? With a team full of play makers, Tom Brady can go to virtually anyone on the team and get it done. Sure they were recording signals of their opponents. In the game of inches any advantage helps. What is interesting though is how this has been built up by the media while simultaneously being swept under the rug by the other coaches in the league. My guess is that this is or was very widespread among all of the teams in the NFL. It should be fun to see this team with a true chip on its shoulder square off with the Jets later in the season. Mangina will wish he stayed quiet after the beating the Pats deliver. My guess is that we truly see a team run up the score against an inferior competitior. Final score Pats 72 – Jets 6.

  2. LairdNYC Says:

    I am an extremely bitter fan with plenty of mediocre (at best) teams to cheer for.

    The league coaches aren’t speaking about the cheating because they were probably told not to. I’m sure they all have opinions on the matter (i.e. Wade Phillips).

    The Pats should beat the Jets 72-6 with the way each team is playing, regardless if the Pats are still cheating or not.


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