Eddy Curry’s status for tonight’s game against the New Jersey Nets will be a game-time decision after the obese center sprained his ankle running in practice. Though many were astonished to find out that the center was running at all, it became understandable after the team’s explanation was made public.
According to an unnamed team official, Curry was at practice and slapping his stomach to see how many times his fat would ripple when he heard the bell ring for the team’s post-practice buffet. It is believed at that point that Curry shoved fellow overweight big man Zach Randolph in the face so that he could be the first one to the roast beef carving station, known to be Curry’s favorite. After successfully getting by Randolph, Curry accidentally stepped on Jerome James’ stomach, as he laid on the ground stretching. Curry’s ankle buckled under the quick-sand like stomach of James and he immediately fell to the floor while screaming that he had dibs on the ice cream sundae bar as well.
Curry will be re-evaluated before tonight’s game to see if he will be able to play.