Red Socks Add Colon to Obese Pitching Staff

Following the trend of obesity rates throughout the country, the Boston Red Socks have signed 400-pound pitcher Bartolo Colon to a minor-league contract. The contract is not guaranteed in any way according to ESPN.com’s Buster Olney, and Colon will only earn a minimal salary plus performance incentives if he makes the major league roster.

Colon won the Cy Young Award in 2005, but has been a shell of the pitcher he was back then…well, at least his abilities are a shell…his body clearly is not.

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